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Since I started writing books, there are two questions I repeatedly get asked. The first—How do you have time to write? My answer is typically short and simple. Writing is my favorite hobby, so I make it a priority. Or my other go-to answer—I don’t sleep much. Both are equally true.

The other question people often ask is—How do you get your ideas for your stories? That answer is a little more complicated, but usually begins with: “It depends.” I’ve woken up from odd dreams that have inspired at least pieces of my stories. Other times an idea pops into my head while I’m in the shower or while driving in my car to work (pre-pandemic when I actually used to drive myself to work). Nowadays, when in order to “get to work” I only have to stumble from my bed to the coffee pot, then to the desk in my bedroom, I find these random ideas come less frequently. It’s a shame but one of the only downsides of working from home, which I love, love, love.

Okay, so back to how I get my ideas. Many times an idea will come to me based on real-life experiences. But perhaps not in as cut and dry of a way as you might think. One of my favorite examples is when I wrote, “After the Climb” (one of a collection of short stories in my fourth book, “Taken by Storm”).

This story came to me while I was out Jeeping with the family. My husband wanted to take me and our girls up a tall hillside in the middle of nowhere so we could see the lights of our town below. The Jeep was a semi-new purchase so he and the girls were excited to take it out and see what it could do. I smiled and pretended to be excited but frankly I found the thought of being stuck in the middle of nowhere without food or a bathroom sort of terrifying and the reason why I camp in a motorhome versus a tent—the fridge and cupboards are stocked and the bathroom is wherever we travel to.

But I digress…

So we piled into the Jeep and drove to the trailhead where our adventure was to begin. It was growing dusk, which was perfect because we could still see the trail but it would be just dark enough when we reached the top to appreciate the glow of the lights far below. As we made the slow crawl up the trail, I started thinking about how going on such an adventure takes a certain amount of trust. I rode shotgun, having full confidence in my husband of almost nineteen years that he knew where we were headed and would drive at a pace that was safe for the family. But goodness, what a steep trail. As we ascended halfway up the trail, I noticed a car or two parked on the side. Nobody in the driver’s or passenger’s seat. Windows suspiciously foggy. I smiled to myself and thought, hmmm, did we just drive by a make-out spot? Needless to say, we didn’t look too closely (just in case).

But as we drove past those cars, I thought about what I would have done in my younger days if someone had suggested taking me up such a hill to see the view from the top. What if they didn’t have the best intentions? Then I thought about how, as humans, we get into situations and often face that inner struggle between sticking up for ourselves and being polite as not to hurt the feelings of others. At that moment, a story popped into my head, so I pulled out my phone and started typing out notes as not to forget. And from those hasty notes was born the story, “After the Climb.”

The crew cab truck ascended the remote road at a crawl, the gravel crunching beneath the pickup’s oversized tires. Leah felt her pulse quicken as she studied her pink nail polish and agonized over her situation. How could she have been so stupid? She’d been a teenager once. She knew what it meant when a boy asked a girl to take a drive out to the middle of nowhere. She also knew what Erik’s expectations would be once they reached the top.

She’d grown quiet and her palms had begun to sweat but Erik didn’t seem to notice. His voice was smooth and rich as he continued to talk in detail about growing up in his hometown. Back at the restaurant Leah had found his tone soothing, but now her heart raced as she searched for double meanings and innuendos behind his every word.

She wanted to ask him to turn the truck around, but she didn’t want him to think she was a tease. At every twist and turn in the road, in her head she was screaming for him to go back. Back to the cozy diner booth they’d been sharing when he’d suggested coming up here; and where she, for reasons that now escaped her, had jumped on the idea. But she didn’t scream. Instead she sat silently beside him as the vehicle continued to climb…

… To find out how that story ends, I encourage you to read the book. You can find “Taken by Storm” on Amazon in paperback or as an eBook. And if you’re on a budget, I’ve got you covered. It’s free on Kindle Unlimited, or you can request it at your local library.

Hello readers! I apologize that it’s been a while. The good news is, since this blog entry is all about my New Year’s list (and probably won’t resonate quite as much in February) I felt compelled to squeeze this entry in before January was over.

A few days before 2021 began, I set some goals. Yes, I realize we all probably did because that’s what we do. New Year’s comes along and we make our resolutions to diet, lose weight, work out more, be better people, all of thee above. And I’m sure I’m not unique in that about three days into the new year, I’ve broken every resolution. Well as 2020 was winding down (and may I say, it couldn’t have come to a close fast enough), what I finally realized about myself (which I can’t believe took forty years for this epiphany) is that I’m a list person. And because I’m a list person, to accomplish my goals – I need a list. Plain and simple.

I also need that list to be something I can actually read (I have horrible handwriting) and that I don’t lose. So I channeled my millennial friends and made the list electronic on my phone with checkmarks I can check and uncheck. There’s a smaller subset to the list for weekly and monthly undertakings, but my real New Year’s goals are listed as daily tasks. And yes, these tasks do include things like working out and drinking more water because I’m cliché and I’m totally okay with that.

The good news is, we’re nearly one month into the year and I’ve stuck by this list every day. That’s right. Every. Day. My inability to go to sleep before checking each and every item off my daily list leads to almost guaranteed success of accomplishing all the things on said list. My husband teases me mercilessly. Once I complete something he knows is on the list, he says “check, check” in sort of a peppy, mocking tone. I tell him he shouldn’t poke fun since that list is the reason he now has clean underwear and socks on a daily basis.

And with that rambling backstory, I now present to you, THE LIST.

1 – 3: Shower, floss, and apply hair oil. It’s sort of sad that showering had to be put on this list. But it’s a pandemic and, with more time spent at home, I think we can all admit we’ve skipped a shower or two. After the shower I now apply the hair oil I purchased eons ago and never bothered to use. I love the feel of it in my hair. And the coconut smell. I will say, I can’t blame my historical lack of flossing on the pandemic. Despite being a self-proclaimed teeth person, I’ve just never been much of a flosser. That is unless you count the six days leading up to any dental checkup. During that time I take it upon myself to floss daily because someone once told me that if you floss for at least six straight days before an appointment, the dentist can’t really tell you’re not a flosser. I’ve found this to be largely untrue but it doesn’t stop me from the “habit.” But now, assuming the dentist office isn’t closed due to Covid restrictions, my next dental appointment should go smashingly well once they realize what a dedicated flosser I’ve become.

4 & 5: Instagram posts and impressions. I try hard to promote my books, but with a full-time day job, squeezing in time to continue writing, all while trying to make sure I don’t neglect my family (or my house), social media promotion often takes a backseat. But Instagram is one of my favorite platforms. I love seeing all the pictures and it’s where I can positively interact with other authors and readers. So my daily list now includes one post on Instagram per day and contributing a minimum amount of likes and comments so I can ensure I’m supporting and taking an interest in the content of others and not just focusing on my own posts. Having Instragram on the list is an easy way to make sure I set a little time aside each day to spend time on a platform I enjoy.

6: Reach out to a friend or family member. I hesitate to admit to this one because I can envision one of my friends or family members reading this and thinking I reached out just to check something off my list. But there’s a reason I added this to the list. There are so many times while I’m working, in the shower, or cooking dinner that I think about someone and tell myself I should really call them or I should send them a text. But then time gets away from me and I often don’t make the gesture. Having this item on my list triggers my memory of those I thought of during the day and then I carve out time to make that connection. So if I reach out to you, please know it’s totally sincere. But yes, once I do, I am going to check it off. 😉

7: Write 500+ words per day. There are two schools of thoughts on this. Some say you should write every day, even if you don’t feel like it. Others say you should only write when you’re in the mood so your writing doesn’t come across as uninspired. I’ve often leaned towards the latter, but then I’ve used that as an excuse not to write and have gone for weeks and even months without writing a single word. Forcing myself to write every day has been a good thing. Over 23,000 words written in less than a month is definitely a record for me and gets me that much closer to my goal of releasing at least two books in 2021. Has all of the writing been inspired? Nope. But that’s what editors are for.

8: Drink at least 75 ounces of water. Those of you who read my earlier blogs may recall that drinking more water was one of my New Year’s resolutions last year. That lasted … oh, a matter of days. But thanks to the list, drinking at least 75 ounces of water per day is easy. I have a 24-ounce, insulated cup so I ensure I drink at least 3 ½ of those. It’s been easier than I thought and I definitely feel more hydrated.

9 & 10: Joint chews for Rogan and vitamins for me. My hunting dog, Rogan, is getting a little long in the tooth so we recently put him on joint chews. The problem is, prior to the New Year, I didn’t always remember to give them to him. And while for myself I had high aspirations for taking my daily vitamins, including for hair and nail support, I took those about as often as I flossed. But now, every morning Rogan gets his chews and I take my vitamins every night with dinner. I will say, I’ve been feeling less tired. I haven’t noticed much difference in my hair and nails, but hopefully that’s coming soon.

11 – 13: Make bed, pick up house, and cook dinner. Like flossing, making the bed had to be added to the list because, in the words of my teenage daughter, “Why make it if you’re just going to get back in it in a few hours?” Big disclaimer, both my mother and my grandma always taught me the first thing you should do to start your day is make your bed. It just didn’t stick. But now that I do this daily, I must admit there is something to be said about getting back into a well-made bed. Since I’ve been working from home for the past ten months, it should have been easier to fit some of these tasks in at lunch or in place of commuting time. However, many mornings I chose to sleep longer instead. In the evenings, I would work longer than intended and time would get away from me. But, since my need to check things off the list apparently overrides my need to sleep, adding these to the list has helped me get up earlier to accomplish them. And even if I have to work later, I still take a break to make these things happen. And finally, with grocery shopping included on the weekly list (admittedly, it’s online shopping with front porch delivery), I’m never without something to make for dinner. The kids are starting to get in on helping me, so that’s also lightened the load. By the time my husband gets home from work, we get to enjoy dinner as a family and then settle in for the evening with a picked-up house. It’s really a great feeling.

14: Twenty minutes of exercise. This one cracks me up because anyone who knows me even a little knows I loathe exercising. Prior to 20021, I’d never gotten into a routine and had an exercise bike I hadn’t set foot on. I even smirked a little when I added this to the list, figuring even being a list person couldn’t help with this one. But I was wrong. I’ve worked out at least twenty minutes every day since the list was created and have been upping the intensity. In the next couple of weeks, I plan to increase this to thirty minutes. Sometimes I’m dragging myself out of bed to fit in some morning exercise, other times it’s on my lunch break, and on very chaotic days I don’t have time to squeeze it in until just before bed. But regardless, I do it, and I always feel great afterwards. Plus, it guarantees I accomplish list item number one – the shower!

15 & 16: Feed and water the dogs for breakfast, then dinner. I can see heads exploding right now thinking that feeding my poor dogs had to be added to the list so I didn’t forget. But no worries, that isn’t the case. Rather, there were days I couldn’t recall if I had already fed them, so I’d do it again. Or my kids would feed the dogs, then me, so it was leading to some chubby pets. Now I’ve made it clear to the family that it’s on my list to take care of. That doesn’t mean I don’t delegate it. But even if I do, as soon as it’s done, I can check it off the list and avoid overfed doggies.

17: Load of laundry. Let me just say that I was done spending my weekends doing six loads of laundry just to try and play catch up from an exhausting week. Now I commit to one load of laundry per day. I typically throw laundry in the washer in the morning, put it in the dryer during my lunch break, then fold it while dinner is cooking or before we settle in for the evening. Everybody helps put it away, which is nice. And now I rarely hear anybody complain that they can’t find what they wanted to wear. Of course, once I finish a load, if something is dirty that somebody really wants to wear that next day, they know where the washer and dryer are.

18 & 19: Nightly facial cream & lash boost. A nightly skincare routine has never been my thing. I’m spent by nine p.m. And if I fall asleep on the couch watching T.V., the last thing I want to do is get up and mess with skincare. But now, even if I do fall asleep on the sofa, I recall this lovely list I’ve grown to both love and hate and I stumble to the bathroom to apply the age-defying cream (a Christmas gift … don’t ask … but I am 40, after all), and then a lash boost liner that I’m hoping gives me those longer lashes, as advertised. So far on the lashes … meh. But I do notice a difference in my skin.

20: Bible and prayer. Regrettably, I fall in and out of this habit over the years. It’s easy to let other things get in the way. But I’ve always felt better when I’ve had a routine of reading the bible and praying daily. I don’t read for a long time. I typically commit to at least two chapters per day. And some days the prayer may be short. But it is nice to end the day with something positive, no matter how my day went.

And that’s it. My daily electronic list that I uncheck each morning and start over. Sometimes it can be daunting. Sometimes it’s deflating that the clock starts over and my previous day’s accomplishments don’t count. But I’ve found this list really works for me. If you’re a list person, I encourage you to give your own list a try. And if you like my blogs, I have good news. A new blog entry is on my monthly checklist, so you can expect to see a blog from me on a monthly cadence (something else that had previously been a goal, but now I feel confident I can accomplish it because, hey – it’s on the list!).

As parents, we’re always finding teachable moments for our kids. At the same time, we’re learning to adapt our parenting approach as circumstances change or as our children go through various phases (no goth phase yet … fingers crossed). We have a few parenting fails along the way. Admittedly, sometimes we’re just winging it. I think the scariest parenting lesson is when you figure out that nobody has it figured out. When you start out as a parent, you think one day you’ll have all the answers and until then, you’ll find some unicorn of a parent to help guide you to parenting perfection. Then one day you realize that unicorn doesn’t exist, you’ll never reach perfection, and what seemed like the optimal solution for one child doesn’t work for the next one. But hey, we’re all doing the best we can.

So every day we’re learning from our own mistakes or, more preferably, the mistakes of others. But sometimes the greatest lessons we learn are from our kids – especially if we stop to listen. I experienced this just last week. First week of school, and I was dreading it. I felt terrible for the opportunities my kids will continue to miss. Sports. Hanging out with their friends. I stressed about how I’d fit in helping them with their studies in addition to my job and keeping up with the endless cleaning, laundry, dishes, cooking, etc., etc. I didn’t speak my reservations aloud because I didn’t want to put undue pressure on my kids or taint their feelings about distance learning. I didn’t post my worries on social media because I didn’t want my daughters to somehow see it. And frankly, there’s enough negativity and angst-worthy posts on there as it is. I certainly didn’t want to add to the worries of others. When my boss asked how I felt about the kids distance-learning from home while I would also be continuing to work full-time from the same location (and same bandwidth), I replied with a great deal more optimism and enthusiasm than I actually felt. My kids are so self-directed, they practically teach themselves. I got this. I’m not worried at all. We’ll just wing it. But in actuality, I was stressed.  Secretly I was dealing with more than a few sleepless nights, my fair share of tears shed in private, and an overindulgence of antacids to “cure” the heartburn that comes with the stress of the unknown.

The first day of school arrived, along with more loads of anxiety. Supply pick-up, meet-the-teacher conferences … just a few things I had to learn to flex around during a busy workday. I’m a team member down and barreling into fiscal year-end, the busiest time of the year, so working double-duty is already taking its toll. No worries, I’ll just work later. Sleep is over-rated anyways and who needs time for friends or self-reflection?

So on Friday morning, there I was, my high-schooler already three days into e-learning and doing an awesome job, and my elementary-school aged child, Bella, starting her first day of distance instruction. I was dragging from another late-nighter I pulled at work (and by “at work” I mean crammed into the tiny desk in the corner of my room) and the hours spent tossing and turning after that before getting up extra early to start the workday again. My heart was in my throat from worrying about how Bella’s first day would go online and how she’d adjust. But my youngest already suffers from her own anxieties, so I put on a brave face when I woke her up for her “exciting” first day.

Bleary-eyed, she crawled out of bed and wandered off to eat some cereal and brush her teeth. I’d been online working for a couple of hours by that point, so I took this break in the day to tidy up my room. I looked around, surveying the laundry and cleaning I’d fallen behind on. A few moments later, Bella came running in. She had on one of her favorite t-shirts but was still wearing her fleece pajama pants.

“Can I wear these on my Zoom class?” she asked.

“Of course,” I told her, trying to match her enthusiasm. “Be as comfortable as you want to be. Nobody can see you from the waist down.”

Bella smiled brightly, did a little dance right there in my room, then said, “This online thing is going to be AWESOME.”

A weight inside me lifted. There’s still a thousand worries and even more unknowns. I have no clue how we’ll get it all done. But despite all this, I smiled back at her and said, “You’re right. It’s going to be AWESOME.” I’m glad I didn’t share my pessimistic views of the new school year. I’m relieved my daughters have a good attitude and are choosing to focus on the positives. I’m going to try and take a page out of their book. This online thing is going to be awesome. And you know what, because we’re starting off with the right attitude, it just might be.

Today’s blog is going to be a short one because I’m headed out on a road trip, so here goes…

The thought that’s been sort of bouncing around in my head is how many of us go through similar struggles, but instead of reaching out for support and sharing our experiences, our nature is to keep our issues tucked privately away. Parenting fails, financial stressors, feeling overloaded with responsibilities … the struggle is real. Then you throw in social media and suddenly we’re all trying to live up to a standard that just isn’t realistic. You know what I’m talking about – there’s always that one mom who in every shot has the perfect hair and makeup, kids are always smiling, and the snippets of her house you see in the background are sparkling clean. She appears upbeat, energetic, and it makes you feel somehow lacking. We see this and our first instinct is to dislike her, right?

When I find myself feeling this way, I am reminded of the duck. It glides smoothly across the surface, looking serene. But just below the surface, that duck is feverishly paddling its feet to stay afloat. So today, I just wanted to say, I see you mommas (and dads), I’ve been there, and I got your back.

For those moments when you feign a bathroom break so you can lock the door, sit down on the toilet, and have a good cry. Been there. More times than I care to count.

For the times you lay awake at night worrying if you’re a good enough parent or spouse … been there too. And let me say, if you care enough about your littles to stay awake worrying about them, you’re probably doing something right and you can go ahead and cut yourself some slack.

For those who feel guilty for stealing a few precious moments to yourself to read a book, take a bubble bath, or watch a show whose intended audience isn’t 8 and under: I say, guilt absolved and good for you! You need time to recharge so you can be at your best for those you love.

If you’ve ever returned a purchase you loved because it was that or groceries; or served Top Ramen with an egg cracked in it for dinner because it’s all you had. I’m not at all embarrassed to say I was there a time or two … or ten. Most parents have scrimped, saved, cut coupons, or gone without on occasion. It’s not something to be ashamed of. Wear it like a badge of honor.

For the working parents who feel guilty about the time they’re missing with their kids but are also trying to teach a strong work ethic. To the momma who finally breaks down from exhaustion because she’s tried so hard to balance her work and homelife and make it look effortless. I’ll let you in on a little secret … it’s not effortless for anybody, so hang in there, you’re not alone.

So the next time you see that wife and mother who always seems to have it together, don’t secretly hate her. If she’s truly doing that well, good for her. We should celebrate the good fortune of others and lift each other up (and who knows, maybe she has a secret to her success she’s willing to share). But also remember, more than likely that beautiful mother is struggling below the surface just like the rest of us. Find your tribe, remember we’re all in this together … and remember the duck.

Last week was long and a scorcher, so by the weekend the family and I were itching to take the motorhome on a day trip. The beast on wheels had been neglected for some time and whenever Joe hasn’t driven it for a while, he gets a bit antsy. Saturday morning we woke up early (albeit, not early enough for Joe, ha!), loaded up the two kids, three dogs, bottled water, and a few snacks, and hit the open road.

Our first stop was pre-planned (as in, planned about 9 o’clock the evening prior). Some friends of ours have property near Spokane, we knew they were headed to it, and what better way to social distance than in the quiet woods? The drive was pretty and Joe expertly filled the role of both driver and DJ; keeping us safe on the winding roads while finding all the good tunes. And the kids … well, someone filled them in that Trump was trying to take away Tik Tok, so they spent the four-hour trek to the property binge-watching videos with a vengeance.

When we reached the property, the driveway was a bit rough, but we made it without getting stuck (an improvement from our previous voyage). The motorhome did receive a few more scratches from the overgrown pine trees, but I figure scratches are like badges of honor; they demonstrate the RV is getting used.

We visited for an hour or so. We had a really great time, but good gravy it was hot! In my head I figured the tree cover would keep us cool. Instead, it seemed to trap in all the heat and we were smothered in a blanket of humidity. Let’s just say, if I didn’t like these friends of ours, I probably would have only lasted twenty minutes. But, since they’re some of our besties, their company was almost enough to make me forget the heat. Almost. The kids on the other hand didn’t seem to notice the humid conditions. They tromped through woods with the dogs in tow, their precious Tik Tok videos forgotten, at least temporarily.

While we enjoyed our brief time, eventually heat and hunger prevailed, so we all drove to a nearby town to get pizza at our favorite spot. The pizza had to be “to go” of course, so we picked it up, then drove to a nearby park to eat it. The park was a bit … I’ll just say, sketch, so we had to keep an eagle eye on the kids while we ate. Our kids were clueless about their surroundings, which was both sweet and alarming. After consuming all the soda and WAY too much pizza, us adults turned to casual conversation while the kids ran off to play. They must have misheard us when we told them NOT to play on the playground equipment on the other side of the park (surely they wouldn’t have deliberately disobeyed us, right?), because we looked up and there they were, spinning happily on the rickety old merry-go-round, directly in front of the van that appeared to be serving as someone’s temporary home. Now us four adults had a dilemma. We were all tired from the drive (aka suffering from an overindulgence of pop and pizza) but somebody needed to run over and save the kids. Thus ensued a few moments of a parental game of chicken where us four adults sort of stared at each other and wondered which one of us was going to step up as a parent and go rescue our oblivious children. Confession … the other mom ran over there first. I was getting up, to be sure… she was just faster. 😉 #parentfail

Crisis avoided and kids wrangled back into the vehicles, we said goodbye to our friends and believed we were headed home. We hadn’t really packed to spend the night and we were all a bit exhausted from the heat. As we pulled away from the decrepit park, Joe cranked up the air conditioning and the tunes and the kids were sucked back into their phones.

Only minutes later, refreshed by the AC, Joe and I decided to take an alternate, more scenic route home. As I stared out the window, I was taken in by the thick trees and rolling hills. I snapped several photos from the window of the moving RV, daydreaming about future trips. Finally, I said aloud, “You know, I’ve never been to Montana. One of our next trips, we should go.”

Joe looked down at the map on the GPS and said, “You know, it’s actually not that far. We could go today and still be back home tomorrow.”

He was half kidding, of course. But I looked over at him, our eyes locked, and we both grinned. Then, we fist bumped in unspoken agreement, Joe changed our destination in the GPS, and we were off. Kids were, again, clueless. About an hour down the road, Joe said, “So, we’re really doing this? We’re going to Montana?”

I nodded, yes.

“We’re going to Montana?” my eldest piped up from the back seat.

To which I responded, “Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner.”

The drive through Idaho was also gorgeous. Luscious greenery, the sun setting over Lake Coeur d’Alene. Several times we yelled for the kids to look out the window at the impressive views. They humored us, but they didn’t have the same appreciation. Surprise, surprise; I took more pictures with my phone. As we were nearing the border to Montana, I thought I had my phone ready but alas the border snuck up on me and I missed taking a picture of the state’s welcome sign. In my defense, it was sort of a small sign.

So now it’s getting late, we’ve made it to Montana – but now what? In a few short miles our questions were answered when we saw a large billboard for free RV parking. FREE! So we drove another few miles to check out the seems too good to be true offer. Well, to our pleasant surprise, just sixteen miles into the great state of Montana, in a little town called Haugan, is something called the 50,000 Silver Dollar. There’s a sizeable souvenir and gift shop, a café, a casino, an Inn, and yes, a large place to park RVs for free. We pulled in, confirmed with one of the other RVers that we could indeed just park anywhere in that lot – free of charge and no check-in necessary. It was fantastic. We picked a spot, parked, then Joe and my eldest set off on foot to check out the café. It was open late and they ordered hot sandwiches and chicken baskets to go. And I get that we were all half-starved, but like the free parking, the food was also fantastic.

The next morning we roused the kids from sleep with promises of more food from the café. This time we went in to enjoy a hot breakfast. Masks were required until seated, of course, but it was lovely to experience a meal that was both prepared and served. Things almost felt normal again. The restaurant owners did a nice job of spacing out the guests, so not only was everyone well over 6’ apart, but we didn’t have to hear anyone else’s conversations. My kiddos giggled the entire meal as they recapped their favorite Tik Tok videos. Admittedly, many are funny and clever. But some of them … ugh … I guess I’m too old to get the lingo.

While telling us about one such video, my eldest was laughing so hard tears were streaming down her face as she told us, “He was speaking in cursive.”

I’m like, “I have no idea what that means.”

When the food arrived (and arrived quickly), it did not disappoint. Huckleberry hot cakes, mouthwatering French toast, plump sausage links, crispy bacon; oh my word, we were all in heaven. And good gracious, did we ever put away the food!

After breakfast, bellies uncomfortably full but well-satisfied, we surveyed the gift shop and picked up several trinkets. Just like in the restaurant, the staff at the store were very friendly. I see why the owner would want RVers to stay for free. Once you’re there, the place sucks you in. We loved it – and will definitely be back.

Not wanting to get home too late, with both of us needing to work the next day, we did only a minor amount of sightseeing and picture taking in Montana. Half the dream was just getting there. But for the little bit we did venture through, I was gushing and grinning. I was a bit surprised when I felt legit tears slide down my cheeks (I’m afraid I take after my mother). I’m not sure why Montana has been so high on my list for so many years, but finally getting to realize that dream was a bit overwhelming. On our brief tour, I found a 20-acre stretch of property for sale, complete with a cabin and a pond. Joe pulled to the side of the road and I jumped out of the RV so I could snap photos of the property and the ‘For Sale’ sign with the phone number. You know, in case we had won the lottery and just didn’t know it yet; then we could purchase that beautiful property as a second home (goals!).

After leaving Montana and venturing back into Idaho, we stopped to take photos of a beautiful, historical mission as well as a snapshot of the sign for the town of Wallace. This town holds a special, humorous memory because once upon a time my mother convinced our family to tour a museum that had once been a brothel. And when I say our family, I’m talking, my siblings, our spouses, and any children we had at the time. “It’s history,” she’d told us. We were all wide-eyed and educated after that tour. And no, we’ve never let her live it down. I sent a group family text of the sign for a good laugh.

Okay, so we’re continuing on our drive through Idaho, headed back towards home… Now, days before the trip, and several times during our drive the previous day, my eldest daughter kept mentioning this grandiose house she’d found for sale in Post Falls. She let us know in no uncertain terms that, once she moved out and became a doctor, she was buying that 5-acre, $3.7 million lakefront home (I guess she takes after me – thus, the property for sale that I photographed in Montana). When my daughter realized we were heading back towards Post Falls, she asked if we could drive by the house. By the way, in the meantime she’d researched the surrounding neighborhood and local schools (since she’d be raising her children there, obviously). A bit charmed by how serious she was that she would indeed purchase this place some day (we may have told her the skies the limit for you a few too many times), we agreed to find the place. We punched the address into the GPS. With all the artificial intelligence built into those GPS apps these days, I’m surprised the voice prompt didn’t call us out on how wishy-washy we’d been with our destinations, but alas, it did not.

When we reached the monster-sized/monster-priced house, my eldest and I scrambled out of the RV to take pictures. She even took a video and sent it to her friends. Joe and I were laughing at how serious she continued to be about this future purchase. After doing the math on how many years she had until she completed high school, undergraduate school, medical school, then her residency (before she started to make some real money, in her opinion) our daughter was a bit shocked, albeit, still not deterred. I playfully suggested that if my book sales took off some day, perhaps I could purchase the home for her until she was ready. She turned me down, flat. She would be buying it, she let me know.

Montana checked off my list of things to see, and viewing that over-the-top mansion checked off my eldest’s list, we officially headed home (no more detours). Dogs and kids piled on the motorhome couch and slept the remainder of the way. Joe and I chatted and listened to music. I sang along while being thankful that Joe is a bit deaf because if I had to listen to myself singing for hours on end from just one seat away, I’d probably push me right out the passenger side door. We dumped and parked the RV, I gave it a thorough scrubbing, and it now sits in our driveway, ready for our next adventure.

I am not going to lie, these past several months have been rough – as I’m sure we can all attest to. Many of us are trying our best to hold it together and searching for ways to keep our minds, and the minds of our loved ones, off all the uncertainty and negativity.

The powerful thing about reading is it can whisk you away to an alternate reality. For a few precious hours, problems melt away and are replaced by curiosity, intrigue, and wonder. I also feel that way about people-watching. So, in the spirit of both these pastimes, I hope you have a similar experience as you read this short, silly story from my recent trip to the ocean. And hopefully you won’t judge my people-watching too harshly. As a writer, I look for inspiration everywhere. And, well, people are pretty fascinating.

Recently I took a trip to the Oregon coast – just me, my sister, and my mother. I needed to find a place to hole up and write (it’s getting into crunch time if I want to release my fourth novel this year); and the three of us needed a restaurant that served food indoors and not just curbside. So … girls’ trip!

My mom scored us a beautiful, three-bedroom condo overlooking the ocean and promenade. During the four blissful days of our trip, we ate delicious food (countless pan seared oysters), shopped for souvenirs (coming to a yard sale near you), went for long walks (or long “sits”) on the beach, but best of all, we spent countless hours people-watching from our beachfront view from four floors up. We saw a shirtless, elderly man lathered up with coconut oil; we saw two young parents getting in more time on the swings than their young son; we even saw a runner stop to do push-ups between a bench and the wall surrounding the promenade (oh, to have that level of confidence). But my favorite experience was ripped from the pages of my work in progress…

Currently I’m working on a romance novella coupled with a collection of short love stories. One afternoon, while we gazed out at the waves, my mom and sister graciously listened as I read aloud unedited excerpts from my latest project. One of the passages included a young gentleman enjoying his book and coffee all by himself and alluded to the appeal of such a man who was not only comfortable being alone, but who actually knew how to read. And enjoyed it! Mr. Perfect, right?

The morning after, while the three of us were enjoying our breakfast and coffee from the condo and making up background stories about the unsuspecting tourists on the beach below us (all in good fun – and all flattering tales, of course), we saw a tall man, early thirties with an athletic build, walking down the promenade. He had a book in one hand, a coffee in the other, and a full head of luscious hair. We sat up straighter in our chairs and leaned way in to view this Adonis who materialized from the unpublished pages of my manuscript.

He strolled down the sidewalk, all confidence and swagger, before taking a seat on the bench directly below us. By now we were giggling like preteens and our faces were all but pressed to the windowpanes. Then, when the man sat down, he crossed his legs. I’m talking, tightly crossed, one leg dangling over the other as he swung his flip-flopped foot up and down. I know it wasn’t nice, but we all groaned at once. The position was just not … not … well, let’s just say it looked uncomfortable. Impractical, even. But, as I reasoned aloud, he still had a full head of hair and knew how to read, so we made an allowance and continued to watch.

Leg crossing preferences temporarily ignored; we switched our focus to the book he was reading. No matter how hard we strained, we couldn’t read the title but could almost make out the author’s name. One of us (I won’t say who) took out a phone and used the zoom feature to take a picture of the book, which we then googled to learn more about. I won’t list the book, but let’s just say, none of us were impressed by his choice. Poor guy, little did he know how far he’d fallen in our eyes from just a few moments prior.

By now my sister had lost interest and wandered off to take a shower. My mom returned to her breakfast, which I imagine had grown cold. I continued to watch. I even snapped a picture (for writing inspiration – truly). As I was doing so, as if he could sense he was being watched, the mystery man leaned his head back and looked straight up. I waved (a bit horrified). He didn’t wave back. Whether he could see me from my perch four floors above him remains a mystery.

I watched him for a few more minutes (okay, thirty?). I saw him gawk at a few young ladies as they jogged by. But in his defense, he did wave sweetly at a little girl with a mop of adorable curls; and he also said “hello,” to (or at least appeared to politely acknowledge) a couple of older women who may or may not have paused directly in front of him to do some bending and stretching. I’m talking, directly in front of the bench where he sat. Man, I love people-watching.

Okay, so fast-forward past however long I watched (insert sheepish, semi-evil grin). Somewhere during this time I went to my room and retrieved the faux leather black notebook I use to jot down story ideas. While I don’t quite know what story he’ll fit into, I did enjoy the intrigue. When he stood to leave, I smiled to myself, realizing he would never know the intrigue (and laughter) he brought to our girls’ trip. And if you see this excerpt below (or something close to it) in one of my future books, you’ll know where the inspiration came from. 😉

You learn a lot about a person when they think no one’s watching. Having observed him for only a few, fleeting moments, she knew more about him than she could derive from a month of dating him. He was kind to small children, appreciated nature and a good book, was rarely distracted by his phone, was comfortable enough with himself to be alone … and he had a glorious head of thick, wavy hair that he raked his fingers through when he was lost in concentration.

Thanks for reading. And remember, if you’re looking for creative ways to keep your family entertained during these trying times, check out one of my recent blog entries. Stay safe everybody. And don’t forget to crack open a book this summer.

Let’s face it, it can be tough staying home and trying to find creative ways to occupy your family’s time – especially the longer this goes on. Here are fifteen ways my family has had success combatting boredom.

Break out the puzzles and boardgames – with a twist. We’ve been putting together puzzles, but my brother and his family took it a step further and held a puzzle war (kids vs. parents). My family enjoyed a game of Scrabble while simultaneously taking turns at Story Cubes. I thought, as a writer, I’d be good at spinning a tale from the Story Cubes. Turns out my daughters have a far better imagination.

Binge-watch that show you’ve been wanting to try. These days guilty pleasures no longer feel so guilty. Remember, by staying on the couch, you’re not wasting time, you’re saving lives (or so they tell us).

Make it a stay-cation. Roast s’mores on the outdoor firepit while telling family-friendly ghost stories. Set up tents in the lawn or have a family campout in that old camper parked in your driveway. I bought a majestic palm and set it on my patio next to a lounge chair and an umbrella. When I’m feeling cooped up, I lay out next to my tropical-ish plant and pretend I’m at a resort somewhere.

Have a movie on the lawn or back patio. We’ve all likely increased our screen time during quarantine – but there’s something magical about switching it up and moving the movie outdoors. Pop some popcorn, break out the snacks, tape up a sheet, and watch your favorite flick. My top-five recommendations: (1) The Burbs, (2) Goonies, (3) Gremlins, (4) The Princess Bride, and (5) Sandlot. Okay … (6) Guardians of the Galaxy … 1 or 2 – they’re both pretty great.

Work out at home – but make it fun! Try a dance-themed workout (I love making up crazy dance moves while my dogs stare at me like I’ve lost my mind … which hey, to some extent …). Maybe try yoga or lifting weights (I have arms like twigs, so I’m not going to do any lifting – but someone else might like that sort of thing). Since the weather is getting nicer, you can even set up an outdoor relay. This is something the whole family can enjoy.

Keep date night alive. Parents, you can set up T.V. trays in your bedroom or head out to the back patio. You can even have dinner in your car. One evening, desperate for a quiet dinner, my hubby and I ordered takeout and snuck out to the motorhome for dinner for two at the dinette. We love our kiddos, but sometimes we just need some kid-free conversation.

Host or attend a virtual party. Celebrations need not be cancelled. I’m enjoying everyone’s creativity at staying connected while embracing different technologies. During the quarantine I’ve experienced Zoom birthday parties, Houseparty and Skype virtual happy hours, and my kids are using Facebook and Google Duo to have video chats with friends. Only downside … you may have to get out of your pajamas. Or not…

Take a local drive. My family loves to take drives around the neighborhoods. We look for landscaping ideas or just use the time to mellow out. My eldest has her learner’s permit and we’re taking advantage of the reduced traffic to let her practice her driving (so, on second thought, maybe avoid drives if you live near me).

Have a cooking challenge. Ever watched the show, Chopped? Choose a family member to select the “must have” ingredients to go in the food challenge basket, break into teams if you want to make it more competitive, set a thirty-minute timer, and let the games begin! Award points for presentation, creativity, and …. taste of course! My family had a great time making two, shall we say, interesting, recipes using the ingredients my daughters picked out – flour, butter, honey, pink sprinkles, cranberry juice, baking soda, graham crackers, lime juice, lemon juice, peach syrup, and, wait for it … grated mozzarella cheese. I highly recommend the cooking challenge. Our recipes … not so much.

Find new ways to support local. It’s been a fun challenge to find different small businesses to support during these trying times. Purchasing gift certificates, going through the drive-through, placing online orders, or picking up curbside are a few options to support small businesses while maintaining social distancing.

Fit in snuggle time with your spouse, kiddos, and/or fur babies. One of the advantages of having limited places to go is being able to make time for those precious moments with the family. I’m loving the extra time to curl up on the couch and hold my family close (pets included). Pre-quarantine, even during a family movie, I’d be up scrubbing countertops or folding laundry. Now I’m like, meh, nobody’s coming over anyways.

Learn a new skill or refine an existing talent. How many times have you heard, “I wish I would have learned…” or, “If I had the time I’d…” Between the increase in lessons offered online and longer stints indoors, now is the time to work on that skill you’ve always wanted to perfect. For my eldest, she’s been trying to learn to juggle, do a backflip, and make balloon animals – or at least she was until she realized these hot new skills might lead her to a career in the circus.

Solve a mystery. There are a few options out there for getting a murder mystery box sent to your home. We tried one out and LOVED it. We did discover something about ourselves while studying the detailed clues – we’ve apparently watched too many episodes of The Mentalist and Lost. As a result, we took the mystery challenge a bit far with our 4’ x 6’ “Murder Board” and tabulated every piece of data because we were certain “the numbers mean something,” but it was all part of the fun. We will definitely order another.

Make homemade, personalized pizzas. The whole family loved this. We set up stations outside to roll out dough and create our own pizzas. We had different sauces and assorted toppings like pepperoni, bacon, sausage, olives, cheeses, pepperoncini’s, and garlic cloves. This gives the whole family something to do in the evening, breaks up the monotony of takeout and tacos, and the kids are getting more cooking savvy (a bonus for post-quarantine). And yes, I know, I’m listing a lot of food-related options in this blog. We all may not fit into our clothes once quarantine is over – but we’ll have some fabulous memories.

And finally…

Read, read, and read some more. Most libraries are closed but you can locate little libraries around your neighborhood, download an eBook, or dust off those paperbacks on your shelf. When you get lost in a great story, you can travel anywhere – even in times of quarantine.

It was a longtime dream of mine to be an author. A few short years ago I decided to stop dreaming about it and start living it. I had a rather romantic idea of what the life of a writer might be like. Instant recognition and success (dang you, Castle for setting such unrealistic expectations); perhaps saying good-bye to the day job and spending my days writing in some remote cabin with a warm fireplace and a view of the lake (one too many Hallmark movies). Now, with three books completed and several more in various stages of being written, I reflect on the emotional rollercoaster my author journey has been. My early expectations were, shall we say, flawed. Comical, really. I remember the excitement of sending out my first query letters, followed by the sting of rejection from the agencies who bothered to respond. But I also recall how elated I felt at seeing my first book available in print. I’ve learned so many things since my journey began. Not just about the aspects of writing and promoting the books (e.g., character arcs, maintaining a website, or navigating the various social media platforms). I’ve also learned some surprising things along the way.

One of the most interesting things I’ve learned, and for reasons no one can properly explain to me, is that people genuinely hate the word, ‘moist’. It seems to be a universal thing. Perhaps an epidemic. I didn’t realize this important fact prior to publishing my first novel. I cringe to think about how many uses of that word might lie between the pages of Darkened. Now I make a concerted effort to avoid the word altogether. Her lips were … well-glossed. The ground was … damp with dew. The cupcakes were … delectable.

I’ve also learned that ideas for stories don’t typically come while sitting at a desk and staring out at a view. As a romance writer, my ideas come during the most unromantic circumstances. They come while driving down a busy street, where I’m forced to pull over and jot down the basics (because I’ve also learned that I’ll remember it later doesn’t often work). I’ve plotted out full scenes in my head while navigating the crowded aisles of the grocery store or sitting in a cramped room, waiting for an oil change. So, if you see me around town wearing a mysterious smile or an eyes-glazed-over expression, there’s probably a gazillion thoughts rattling around in my brain, and most have nothing to do with reality.

A hard lesson to learn was that not everyone will like what I write. Admittedly, this should have been something I already knew – but I guess being a writer loved by all readers must have been part of my original fame-and-fortune-overnight author fantasy. Reading is very subjective. And writing is hard work. Fun – but very hard work. I’ve learned a great deal about honing my craft. I’m still learning. I’ve had readers love my books. I’ve had those that enjoyed them. I’ve had the “meh,” feedback. And then I’ve experienced the harsh reality that there were those who disliked a book entirely. I primarily write for me, yes; and receiving constructive criticism is invaluable. But at first it seemed unfathomable that there were people who enjoyed romance novels but didn’t like my romance novels. Didn’t they understand how much blood, sweat, and tears went into writing it? The hours of effort? The sleepless nights? This brings me to my next lesson…

Perhaps the most valuable lesson I learned, and the one that took me the longest to accept, was that nobody is ever going to be as excited about my book projects as I am. My husband and parents might be proud (albeit, slightly uncomfortable with a chapter or two given the genre), my daughters might feel inspired to also follow their dreams, readers might enjoy the storyline – but never with the same level of passion as I have. That’s okay. I couldn’t and shouldn’t expect anyone to. Nobody else has the same personal investment. Writing a book starts with the smallest inkling of an idea. It might be inspired by a strange dream (Darkened), or a random thought while in the shower (The Comforts). The half-baked notion is transferred to a notebook or notes app on my phone until I can get back to it. Then, in the quiet of the evening, while the family is sleeping soundly, I pull out the laptop and the idea starts to take shape. Characters are formed, named/renamed, sometimes discarded. Settings and seasons may change to fit the overall construct. When I began to write my latest book, Ash Fallen, all I had was the opening lines (inspired by watching a zombie movie, oddly enough) and a preference that my main characters have auburn or red hair (inspired by Ed Sheeran if I’m being honest). At the time I didn’t know the book would be set on another planet or that people would possess powers. The point is, once I’ve created characters and breathed life into them, I can’t expect anyone else to love those characters like I do. Look at my baby! Isn’t she the prettiest? I’ve accepted this as fact and moved forward. Once I finish a book, I find satisfaction in how far the story came and pride in the fact that, between the front and back cover, I wrote every. single. word – all 60,000+. That’s all I need to be inspired to keep writing. When someone reads one of my books and lets me know how much they enjoyed it, that’s a bonus. If they leave a review, I’m grateful for life.

The lessons I’ve learned helped right-size my expectations of being an author, but the dream remains the same. Someday I may get the chance to write full-time in front of that window with the lakeside view while my dogs sleep at my feet next to a warm fire. I may just land that agent who takes a chance on an unknown and strikes a deal with a major publishing company, resulting in a windfall of fame and fortune. Perhaps a movie deal with Lifetime (my books might be a bit much for Hallmark). In the meantime, I’m looking forward to branching out into other genres, writing additional blogs, and connecting with more readers and writers. Whatever my writing journey may hold, wherever it might take me, I’ll continue to learn and grow while appreciating the ups and downs that come along with living my dream. And I’ll continue to have a profound appreciation for the family members, friends, and readers who patiently share in this journey with me. After all, I’m just learning as I go.

I know it’s totally cliché to write about goals in the new year – but I make no apologies. I’m a romance writer and, what can I say, sometimes I love predictability and being cliché. Like many people, I’ve made a list of the changes I’d like to make in 2020. Nothing big. Nothing earthshattering. Just twenty simple acts towards changing my life for the better. The great thing is that these are very achievable goals; bite-sized bits to bettering myself that anyone can get in on if they’d like. Please note these are not in any particular order. I’m an expressive, not an analytical, and while I enjoy writing, I do NOT enjoy painstakingly aligning lists in order of preference or importance. These are, instead, my random top twenty. Here we go…

20. Visit family members more

I recently heard someone say, “make the time before you run out of time.” It stuck with me. So, family members – you’ve been warned. I may be crashing your casas more than usual over the next 360-ish days. Most of my family members (parents, siblings, etc.) live within a thirty-mile radius; yet it seems the only time we spend any real time together is birthdays and holidays. I want to meet my sister for coffee, or my parents for dinner. I want to drop in on my in-laws for a quick chat. I’ve also heard it said, “you make time for what’s important,” and that’s exactly what I plan to do.

19. Read more dad jokes

I want to read more of these: fun, clean, super-dumb dad jokes. My kids like to tell them and the more I hear them, the funnier they are. My husband has an app that sends him one new dad joke a day. I always get a chuckle when he shares them. Here’s one for your reading pleasure:

              I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put it down!

You’re welcome! 😉

18. Take a mental health day. Maybe two

This year I want to carve out a day to just decompress. All. By. Myself. I’m going to throw guilt out the window, pick a weekday (so kiddos are at school and hubby is at work), stay in my PJs, and binge-watch one of those shows everyone talks about that I haven’t gotten around to. Finishing Downton Abbey is next on the list but I’m open to suggestions.

17. Make more time for snuggle time

I’m a snuggler and a hugger at heart. But I’m also notorious for getting up during family movie time to fold clothes, wipe off countertops, or organize a cupboard or two. In the future I want to take the time to snuggle with the kids – snuggle with my hubby – snuggle with the dogs. It’s easy to eat up an evening running around doing household chores. But I’ve never regretted slowing down to make time for snuggle time – it’s like therapy – and I need more of it.

16. Add one small, conscious act of kindness per day

I’d like to think I perform at least one kind act per day. I’m sure we all do. But in 2020 I want to make a conscious decision to ensure that I do. It can be as simple as holding the door open for a stranger; or texting words of encouragement to a friend. Kindness is free. It’s also contagious.

15. Say ‘yes’ more often

I actually started this a little before the New Year. I’m focusing on making the time and saying ‘yes’ to lunch with friends or my monthly book club meetings. I want to tackle that new hobby I was considering. I love spontaneity but sometimes it’s trumped by laziness or feeling like there isn’t any time, and I turn down those out-of-the-blue invites I would otherwise enjoy being a part of. Going forward, I want to make the time. It’s a rare occasion when I regret trying something new.

14. Learn to say ‘no’

Seems like I just did a 180 (refer to number 15) but quite the contrary. I want to starting saying ‘no’ to the things that don’t matter so I can have time to say ‘yes’ to the things that do. It’s about prioritization, really, and finding balance. It’s also about setting pride and ego aside to say ‘no’ to things that might further my career or social standing if those things don’t also fit with my priorities. I may just have to turn down that extra assignment at work to spend more time with the family. I can live with that.

13. Drink more water

I’m not going to commit to exercise – I hate it. I’m not going to say I’ll eat healthier – I love sugar and caffeine far too much. But I will commit to drinking more water. I’m going to invest in a nice water bottle and bring it with me in the car. I’ll commit to taking that break at work to walk down the hall and refill my water cup. I’m actually excited about this one. Who doesn’t want to feel better while having more radiant skin?

12. Wear sunscreen

And speaking of more radiant skin … this is the year I will commit to wearing sunscreen. As a product of the 80’s, I grew up basking in the sun while liberally spreading coconut oil over my face and legs. I now have the sunspots spackled across my skin to prove it (notice I didn’t refer to them as “age spots”). I’m not getting any younger, and I still love to lay out in the sun for hours … so I think I’ll give my poor skin a rest and at least lather on the SPF30.

11. Just breathe

I’m not going to lie – sometimes I can get spun up and get spun up fast. I have learned that pausing to take a breath can help tremendously in calming my nerves and keeping me from reacting too quickly. I’ve also learned that taking a pause prevents me from lashing out in ways that I will later regret. In 2020 I want to practice the art of being slow to anger and quick to love.

10. Carve out time for your passion

For me, this would equate to doing more writing. Like any other passion, once money and deadlines get involved, that passion turns to “work” and somehow loses its luster. In 2020 I want to go back to the reason I started writing: for the fun of it. I may publish two books. I may just bore the public with endless blogs. Whatever I decide to write, it’ll be because it’s my passion; a hobby I find fulfilling versus any sort of obligation. So, if you find me less on social media, please don’t mistake it for laziness or for losing steam. I’m finding my way back to the passion of writing rather than the business of it. If you’re looking for me, I’ll be curled up on the couch with my laptop and my dogs – refer to # 17.

9. Apologize more

This doesn’t mean I plan to do more things that I’ll need to apologize for. But I have learned it’s hard for me to apologize, even when I know I’m wrong. I’ll often brush it off with humor or wait until the argument blows over. But in 2020, I want to apologize when I know I’m wrong. It takes nothing except, perhaps, swallowing a bit of pride. I will warn you though, I’m rarely wrong, so… (kidding).

8. Worry less

One of the great things about getting older (and no, it’s not the sunspots) is that I start to care less and less what people think. Not in a bad way. I don’t go around trampling over other people’s feelings because my give-a-dern is broken. But I do enjoy expressing myself more without worrying about what other people’s opinions will be on the matter. My confidence has grown and I’m excited to continue this the older I get.

7. Expand your playlist

With less worrying comes the prospect of branching out of my comfort zone. In 2020 I want to make new friends but take strides to better friendships with longtime friends. I want to branch out at work – tackling new tasks I find interesting but I might have otherwise been too apprehensive to try. And in my writing, I can’t WAIT to branch out into new genres. I may even write a horror story – you never know.

6. Floss more

If my dentist saw this, it would make him smile. I don’t look forward to the lecture I get from him every six months when I admit I’m not the greatest at flossing daily. This year I’m going to make an effort to floss more often. It only takes minutes and I know my teeth and gums will thank me.

5. Practice purposeful spending

I don’t want to make a resolution to go on a strict budget. What I do want to achieve is taking a pause before spending those hard-earned dollars. I want to ask the questions: do I need this? Will it make me happy or just add to clutter? When we diet, we make a conscious decision about the types of foods we put in our bodies. I want to practice that same purposeful decision-making each time I slide my debit card or put that extra item into my shopping cart.

4. Forgive with a vengeance

This year I’ll be all about forgiveness. This doesn’t mean I’ll let everyone walk all over me. But it is about realizing no one is perfect and cutting them some slack. I’ve learned forgiveness is all about forgiving for yourself. Even if it doesn’t seem like someone deserves forgiveness, harboring a grudge typically only hurts the person harboring it. I’m going to let go, forgive, and be at peace with it. And hopefully I’ll find some forgiveness in return (after I’ve accomplished #9 and have apologized profusely for my shortcomings).

3. Eat in more

We all do it – we get so busy that by the end of the day a quick run through the drive-thru seems like the best and only feasible option for dinner. Over the year my goal is to increase the times my family eats in. This will help with #5 (purposeful spending), healthier eating, and more precious family time as we gather around the table and discuss our days. I do realize that more gathering around the table may lead to some exhausting evenings (refer to earlier blog) but I’m up for it.

2. Reduce screen time

Like many others I’m quick to notice others buried in their phones or other electronics, and judge accordingly, but I make excuses when I’m just as guilty. “I’m promoting my books,” “I’m collaborating with other authors,” or “I’m studying my craft,” just to call out a few of my excuses when I spend more time on social media than I should. Going forward I’m going to make a more concerted effort to limit my screen time and the screen time of my family. So, if you see my family and me mall-walking, know we’re really trying to accomplish this goal but may have run out of ideas.

1. Seek spiritual fulfillment

I almost didn’t list this one because, while it’s definitely on my list, it’s such a unique and personal thing to each individual and talking about it can make people feel uncomfortable. But regardless of beliefs or upbringing, most everyone has something that makes them feel centered or brings them inner peace. For some it’s daily prayer and devotions. For others it may be special crystals. Regardless, I think it’s important for everyone to explore their beliefs and find out what really fulfills them. What grounds them. I really want to slow down and seek to understand what this is for me personally. I’m looking forward to the peace and fulfillment it brings.

That’s it – my random top-twenty. If you have others to add, I’d love to hear them. Happy New Year and may all our resolutions last longer than a couple weeks!

These days our social media feeds are full of information – and opinions. Sooo many opinions. Recently I stumbled upon an opinionated post that left me pondering. That’s one of the great things about free speech and conflicting views: we may not agree with everything another person says, but at a minimum, the opposing viewpoint can make a person pause and think.

So what, you might ask, was this riveting opinion that left my head spinning? Well, I’ll tell you.

A woman changed her profile picture, which prompted a string of complimentary posts. Harmless, right? Inspiring even (I love to see people lifting each other up). Well, apparently it wasn’t for everybody. A man screenshotted the feed and proceeded to rant about how we should stop complimenting people on their looks. He went on to preach how we need to stop telling our daughters they’re beautiful and, instead, tell them they’re smart, kind, etc., etc. According to him, using the term could be dangerous (and people call me dramatic?).

I didn’t argue with him. I did what I typically do when I disagree with someone on social media … I continued scrolling. Where are all the puppy videos? I want to see puppies! But part of me wanted to jump in on the thread. While I could see the point he was trying to drive home, I felt he was missing two key facts. For one, there are many ways to lift a person up, and saying something kind about the way someone looks doesn’t take away from everything else that person is. I mean, by that logic, if I expressed admiration for someone’s impressive height, would that diminish their personal accomplishments? Or their intelligence?

But more importantly, I felt the man was missing the deeper meaning of the word when the woman’s friends posted she was “beautiful.” There are a million shades and blends of beauty. Perhaps her friends were referring to the bright smile she wore despite the trials she was facing. Perhaps they were drawn to the twinkle in her eyes after she was photographed taking part in something she loved. Maybe the woman recently survived an illness and her friends wanted to acknowledge her vibrant comeback. Likely, these friends, knowing the woman, were looking deeper than the surface of the profile picture; deeper than the skin.

Whoever said beauty is only skin deep never met the right people. The world is full of beautiful people. Beautiful minds. Beautiful hearts. Beautiful souls. Take my girls – they have beauty in spades. I don’t mean in the traditional sense (though, as their mama, I of course feel they have that too). Their pallet of beauty shines with an array of colors. It’s in the empathy they have towards their friends and classmates, or the way their faces light up when they’re talking about their day. It’s the cute way their eyes well up at their favorite songs, the handmade cards they make to express their appreciation, and the way they whisper I love you each night before bed. With each smile, kind word, and selfless gesture, they paint the world a brighter shade of beautiful.

So, in summary, no. No I won’t stop telling my girls they’re beautiful. Instead I’m going to teach them all the ways they are beautiful. I’ll encourage and cultivate their kindness, bravery, and selflessness (and eyebrow waxing if they want, because being awesome on the inside doesn’t mean personal grooming on the outside doesn’t occur). I’m also going to teach them to see the beauty in everything around them, through triumph and tragedy.

And to the dude who doesn’t like people complimenting others on appearance – slow your roll. We all desire to be valued for our intellect and our contributions to society. But sometimes, sometimes we just want a pat on the head and to be told we’re pretty. I’m fairly confident it won’t put us in any real danger. Finally, to anyone who took the time to read this blog – you’re all beautiful. Yep, I said it. But no worries. As long as you look both ways before crossing the street, you should be safe. 😉