Today’s blog is going to be a short one because I’m headed out on a road trip, so here goes…
The thought that’s been sort of bouncing around in my head is how many of us go through similar struggles, but instead of reaching out for support and sharing our experiences, our nature is to keep our issues tucked privately away. Parenting fails, financial stressors, feeling overloaded with responsibilities … the struggle is real. Then you throw in social media and suddenly we’re all trying to live up to a standard that just isn’t realistic. You know what I’m talking about – there’s always that one mom who in every shot has the perfect hair and makeup, kids are always smiling, and the snippets of her house you see in the background are sparkling clean. She appears upbeat, energetic, and it makes you feel somehow lacking. We see this and our first instinct is to dislike her, right?
When I find myself feeling this way, I am reminded of the duck. It glides smoothly across the surface, looking serene. But just below the surface, that duck is feverishly paddling its feet to stay afloat. So today, I just wanted to say, I see you mommas (and dads), I’ve been there, and I got your back.
For those moments when you feign a bathroom break so you can lock the door, sit down on the toilet, and have a good cry. Been there. More times than I care to count.
For the times you lay awake at night worrying if you’re a good enough parent or spouse … been there too. And let me say, if you care enough about your littles to stay awake worrying about them, you’re probably doing something right and you can go ahead and cut yourself some slack.
For those who feel guilty for stealing a few precious moments to yourself to read a book, take a bubble bath, or watch a show whose intended audience isn’t 8 and under: I say, guilt absolved and good for you! You need time to recharge so you can be at your best for those you love.
If you’ve ever returned a purchase you loved because it was that or groceries; or served Top Ramen with an egg cracked in it for dinner because it’s all you had. I’m not at all embarrassed to say I was there a time or two … or ten. Most parents have scrimped, saved, cut coupons, or gone without on occasion. It’s not something to be ashamed of. Wear it like a badge of honor.
For the working parents who feel guilty about the time they’re missing with their kids but are also trying to teach a strong work ethic. To the momma who finally breaks down from exhaustion because she’s tried so hard to balance her work and homelife and make it look effortless. I’ll let you in on a little secret … it’s not effortless for anybody, so hang in there, you’re not alone.
So the next time you see that wife and mother who always seems to have it together, don’t secretly hate her. If she’s truly doing that well, good for her. We should celebrate the good fortune of others and lift each other up (and who knows, maybe she has a secret to her success she’s willing to share). But also remember, more than likely that beautiful mother is struggling below the surface just like the rest of us. Find your tribe, remember we’re all in this together … and remember the duck.
Love this and you!