Beauty in Shades and Spades

These days our social media feeds are full of information – and opinions. Sooo many opinions. Recently I stumbled upon an opinionated post that left me pondering. That’s one of the great things about free speech and conflicting views: we may not agree with everything another person says, but at a minimum, the opposing viewpoint can make a person pause and think.

So what, you might ask, was this riveting opinion that left my head spinning? Well, I’ll tell you.

A woman changed her profile picture, which prompted a string of complimentary posts. Harmless, right? Inspiring even (I love to see people lifting each other up). Well, apparently it wasn’t for everybody. A man screenshotted the feed and proceeded to rant about how we should stop complimenting people on their looks. He went on to preach how we need to stop telling our daughters they’re beautiful and, instead, tell them they’re smart, kind, etc., etc. According to him, using the term could be dangerous (and people call me dramatic?).

I didn’t argue with him. I did what I typically do when I disagree with someone on social media … I continued scrolling. Where are all the puppy videos? I want to see puppies! But part of me wanted to jump in on the thread. While I could see the point he was trying to drive home, I felt he was missing two key facts. For one, there are many ways to lift a person up, and saying something kind about the way someone looks doesn’t take away from everything else that person is. I mean, by that logic, if I expressed admiration for someone’s impressive height, would that diminish their personal accomplishments? Or their intelligence?

But more importantly, I felt the man was missing the deeper meaning of the word when the woman’s friends posted she was “beautiful.” There are a million shades and blends of beauty. Perhaps her friends were referring to the bright smile she wore despite the trials she was facing. Perhaps they were drawn to the twinkle in her eyes after she was photographed taking part in something she loved. Maybe the woman recently survived an illness and her friends wanted to acknowledge her vibrant comeback. Likely, these friends, knowing the woman, were looking deeper than the surface of the profile picture; deeper than the skin.

Whoever said beauty is only skin deep never met the right people. The world is full of beautiful people. Beautiful minds. Beautiful hearts. Beautiful souls. Take my girls – they have beauty in spades. I don’t mean in the traditional sense (though, as their mama, I of course feel they have that too). Their pallet of beauty shines with an array of colors. It’s in the empathy they have towards their friends and classmates, or the way their faces light up when they’re talking about their day. It’s the cute way their eyes well up at their favorite songs, the handmade cards they make to express their appreciation, and the way they whisper I love you each night before bed. With each smile, kind word, and selfless gesture, they paint the world a brighter shade of beautiful.

So, in summary, no. No I won’t stop telling my girls they’re beautiful. Instead I’m going to teach them all the ways they are beautiful. I’ll encourage and cultivate their kindness, bravery, and selflessness (and eyebrow waxing if they want, because being awesome on the inside doesn’t mean personal grooming on the outside doesn’t occur). I’m also going to teach them to see the beauty in everything around them, through triumph and tragedy.

And to the dude who doesn’t like people complimenting others on appearance – slow your roll. We all desire to be valued for our intellect and our contributions to society. But sometimes, sometimes we just want a pat on the head and to be told we’re pretty. I’m fairly confident it won’t put us in any real danger. Finally, to anyone who took the time to read this blog – you’re all beautiful. Yep, I said it. But no worries. As long as you look both ways before crossing the street, you should be safe. 😉