Learning As I Go

It was a longtime dream of mine to be an author. A few short years ago I decided to stop dreaming about it and start living it. I had a rather romantic idea of what the life of a writer might be like. Instant recognition and success (dang you, Castle for setting such unrealistic expectations); perhaps saying good-bye to the day job and spending my days writing in some remote cabin with a warm fireplace and a view of the lake (one too many Hallmark movies). Now, with three books completed and several more in various stages of being written, I reflect on the emotional rollercoaster my author journey has been. My early expectations were, shall we say, flawed. Comical, really. I remember the excitement of sending out my first query letters, followed by the sting of rejection from the agencies who bothered to respond. But I also recall how elated I felt at seeing my first book available in print. I’ve learned so many things since my journey began. Not just about the aspects of writing and promoting the books (e.g., character arcs, maintaining a website, or navigating the various social media platforms). I’ve also learned some surprising things along the way.

One of the most interesting things I’ve learned, and for reasons no one can properly explain to me, is that people genuinely hate the word, ‘moist’. It seems to be a universal thing. Perhaps an epidemic. I didn’t realize this important fact prior to publishing my first novel. I cringe to think about how many uses of that word might lie between the pages of Darkened. Now I make a concerted effort to avoid the word altogether. Her lips were … well-glossed. The ground was … damp with dew. The cupcakes were … delectable.

I’ve also learned that ideas for stories don’t typically come while sitting at a desk and staring out at a view. As a romance writer, my ideas come during the most unromantic circumstances. They come while driving down a busy street, where I’m forced to pull over and jot down the basics (because I’ve also learned that I’ll remember it later doesn’t often work). I’ve plotted out full scenes in my head while navigating the crowded aisles of the grocery store or sitting in a cramped room, waiting for an oil change. So, if you see me around town wearing a mysterious smile or an eyes-glazed-over expression, there’s probably a gazillion thoughts rattling around in my brain, and most have nothing to do with reality.

A hard lesson to learn was that not everyone will like what I write. Admittedly, this should have been something I already knew – but I guess being a writer loved by all readers must have been part of my original fame-and-fortune-overnight author fantasy. Reading is very subjective. And writing is hard work. Fun – but very hard work. I’ve learned a great deal about honing my craft. I’m still learning. I’ve had readers love my books. I’ve had those that enjoyed them. I’ve had the “meh,” feedback. And then I’ve experienced the harsh reality that there were those who disliked a book entirely. I primarily write for me, yes; and receiving constructive criticism is invaluable. But at first it seemed unfathomable that there were people who enjoyed romance novels but didn’t like my romance novels. Didn’t they understand how much blood, sweat, and tears went into writing it? The hours of effort? The sleepless nights? This brings me to my next lesson…

Perhaps the most valuable lesson I learned, and the one that took me the longest to accept, was that nobody is ever going to be as excited about my book projects as I am. My husband and parents might be proud (albeit, slightly uncomfortable with a chapter or two given the genre), my daughters might feel inspired to also follow their dreams, readers might enjoy the storyline – but never with the same level of passion as I have. That’s okay. I couldn’t and shouldn’t expect anyone to. Nobody else has the same personal investment. Writing a book starts with the smallest inkling of an idea. It might be inspired by a strange dream (Darkened), or a random thought while in the shower (The Comforts). The half-baked notion is transferred to a notebook or notes app on my phone until I can get back to it. Then, in the quiet of the evening, while the family is sleeping soundly, I pull out the laptop and the idea starts to take shape. Characters are formed, named/renamed, sometimes discarded. Settings and seasons may change to fit the overall construct. When I began to write my latest book, Ash Fallen, all I had was the opening lines (inspired by watching a zombie movie, oddly enough) and a preference that my main characters have auburn or red hair (inspired by Ed Sheeran if I’m being honest). At the time I didn’t know the book would be set on another planet or that people would possess powers. The point is, once I’ve created characters and breathed life into them, I can’t expect anyone else to love those characters like I do. Look at my baby! Isn’t she the prettiest? I’ve accepted this as fact and moved forward. Once I finish a book, I find satisfaction in how far the story came and pride in the fact that, between the front and back cover, I wrote every. single. word – all 60,000+. That’s all I need to be inspired to keep writing. When someone reads one of my books and lets me know how much they enjoyed it, that’s a bonus. If they leave a review, I’m grateful for life.

The lessons I’ve learned helped right-size my expectations of being an author, but the dream remains the same. Someday I may get the chance to write full-time in front of that window with the lakeside view while my dogs sleep at my feet next to a warm fire. I may just land that agent who takes a chance on an unknown and strikes a deal with a major publishing company, resulting in a windfall of fame and fortune. Perhaps a movie deal with Lifetime (my books might be a bit much for Hallmark). In the meantime, I’m looking forward to branching out into other genres, writing additional blogs, and connecting with more readers and writers. Whatever my writing journey may hold, wherever it might take me, I’ll continue to learn and grow while appreciating the ups and downs that come along with living my dream. And I’ll continue to have a profound appreciation for the family members, friends, and readers who patiently share in this journey with me. After all, I’m just learning as I go.