We spend our lives trying to fit in. The angst of our teenage years is centered around fitting in. But the older I get, the more I find that “fitting in” isn’t so important. In fact, my preference is leaning towards NOT TO. Dare to be different is my new motto. Am I weird? I prefer eccentric. Am I immature? I prefer free-spirited or young-at-heart. Who says we must conform to the ideals of others? I guarantee almost anyone you meet has a freaky/strange side they’re just dying to let out.
I have a great deal of friends, and I consider myself lucky. But I’ve always struggled with knowing that I don’t quite “fit in” with many of them. Many are a bit more conservative than me. This can be a source of struggle – finding common interests, learning when it’s best NOT to speak my mind – but it’s also a source of struggle in my writing. As I write a romance scene (one of my FAVORITE things, if I’m being truthful), I can almost hear the gasps of shock from those who I love and admire. I have to remember two things: (1) my true friends still love me for me; and (2) just because they are my friends, doesn’t necessarily mean I write for them. I have to remember and accept that they may not be my “target” audience. In writing, I frequently stretch myself – not just beyond my own comfort level, but oftentimes, beyond the comfort level of others. It’s a bold journey, but an exciting journey.
Speaking of friends… I recently sat through a two-day class with a fellow co-worker I’m happy to call my friend. In the class we all bonded, we shared – we were all vulnerable. At the end of the class, this friend of mine said (and I’m somewhat paraphrasing), that he always worried people would find out how weird he was, until he got to know all of us better, and then he realized we were all weird. Truer words were never spoken!
In my office I hung a sign, Don’t Fit In, Stand Out, and it serves as a reminder (and hopefully, an inspiration for those around me). People don’t become famous or idolized because they’re NORMAL or act like everybody else. It’s because they have that special something that people look at and think, wow, that person is really extraordinary. So, the next time you feel bad because you don’t fit in, turn that feeling around and think of it as a good thing. You shouldn’t fit in. You were born to stand out. Dare to be different.