Author: Blake

This is one of my favorites. Some people are grouchy. Some people are flat out NOT nice. These are facts. But most people cannot continue operating at their level of rudeness when you answer their discourtesy with absolute, pure, and genuine kindness. Now it may take a bit – but it’s almost comical to watch. The more someone lays on the “rude,” the more you answer back with kindness, and just sit back and watch the magic.

Don’t get me wrong on this one. I’m not asking you to play the part of a human doormat. I’m also not suggesting that you put yourself in harm’s way. If someone confronts you on the street and threatens to take your wallet, your rewarding, heartfelt smile probably isn’t going to melt the perp’s heart of stone. But the truth is that most reasonable people will start to feel uncomfortable if they continue to be offensive and your only recourse is compassion.

I remember when I was in school, there was a girl in my class (we’ll call her “Sasha”) that flat out did not like me – and she didn’t try to hide it. Maybe I looked at her wrong. Perhaps she thought she was better than me. I know for darn sure she wasn’t jealous of my artistic or athletic abilities. Whatever the reason, Sasha would say cutting things to me on a daily basis. My first approach was to lash back with my own biting remarks. As you may imagine, all this did was escalate the situation.

One day I was complaining about the situation to my mother, and she told me, “all you can do is be nice.” That answer ticked me off, to be frank. I had just poured out my troubles to my mom and all she could tell me was “be nice?” Seriously?

Despite my reservations, I tried it. Day 1 was hard. I held my tongue when the first insult came. Oddly enough, my silence meant that Sasha didn’t fire out a second or third insult, so I was already making progress. On the second day, I smiled at Sasha as she passed my chair. This gave her pause. She looked genuinely confused as she walked past me (and, mind you, she was also silent and insult-free). I could start to see the impact of my actions, and it inspired me to turn my forced kindness into genuine compassion.

I began to feel real warmth in my actions towards Sasha, knowing those actions came from a good place. Each school day I told her, “good morning.” One day I asked her at lunch if she wanted to sit at my table of friends (Sasha didn’t have many friends of her own). Before long Sasha was not only no longer hateful, she was friendly! Honest to goodness friendly!

Now as I said, this won’t work on everyone – but I encourage you to give it a try. At the end of the day, you will at least feel better about yourself knowing you didn’t sink to anyone’s level.

I’m starting a new blog series I like to call, “Idioms, Clichés, and How to Live By Them.”

I’ll start by noting that I am not a doctor. I do not offer treatment or medical advice. These blog entries offer a fun spin on the idioms and clichés we hear (and use) almost daily. Enjoy the read – I’ll enjoy the write!

“EVEN A BROKEN CLOCK IS RIGHT TWICE A DAY”

I like to remember this saying in conjunction with how we view lasting first impressions. Have you ever met someone and had that awe-inspiring feeling about them, but no matter how many times you tried to get that moment back, you never saw the same greatness in that person again? Maybe you went on a first date, and your date was all you ever dreamed – polite, polished, and held excellent table manners. You paid close attention to your date’s courteous treatment of the wait-staff (as you’ve been taught to do) and concluded that THIS person was a rare find. You went home and told your friends, even your mother – “this is the one!”.

Fast-forward through several months of awkward dates, bad vibes, and horrid displays of behavior from this same person; but you’re still hanging on to that first experience. You keep making excuses for this person, hanging on to your first impression of them by a fingernail. Maybe you’re emotionally attached; or maybe (likely), subconsciously you don’t want that first impression to be proven wrong. After all, we count on our impressions and intuitions to formulate our relationships and to keep us safe.

Whatever the reason, if you find yourself in this space – read closely. Let. It. Go. They say, even a broken clock is right twice a day, and in this instance, that first date (or that first impression) may very well have been that persons “broken” best. If you haven’t witnessed the same remarkable, winning behavior since, chop off that mythical halo you’ve created and cut ties!

I can’t comprehend why, even WELL into adulthood, hearing the Beastie Boys on the radio makes me feel the need to fight for my right to party. I can’t put my finger on what it is that makes Ed Sheeran so darn adorable. These, like many things in life, remain somewhat of a mystery.

But I CAN understand what I love about writing. Writing is an immediate escape; an instant release. I love that the simple act of typing a few words on a blank page can transport me anywhere I want to go, interacting with characters as interesting as I choose to make them. I read somewhere that you should write the story you want to read, and that’s exactly what I strive to do.

Writing, for me, isn’t about being the best at it, or making money. It’s a deeply personal and fulfilling experience. The downside of it being so personal is that it makes it hard to share my writing with others. What if people hate it? What if they think I’m weird?

After years of worry and self-doubt, I came to one conclusion: SUCK IT UP, BUTTERCUP! Well, maybe a second conclusion: Guess what? You ARE weird!

I write for me (she reminds herself for the tenth time that day). If others like it – awesome! If people hate it… well… my stories aren’t for everyone.

So, a huge ‘thank you’ for everyone’s support early in this journey. I look forward to keeping you updated along the way!