With Christmas behind me, and another hosting event in the books, I wanted to share with you my rules of preparing my home for hosting. These are self-imposed, absurd rules I make for myself when preparing to host an event of any size. My top five goes beyond the crucial task of cleaning the house from top to bottom. To me, that’s a given (though some would argue you shouldn’t deep clean before people come over, because they will only mess things up. I disagree on this point. Why give yourself a break? You can always clean twice). No, these five rules of sheer madness pick up where most people leave off. After reading this, you too can apply these ludicrous rules to your own events to ensure you put as much pressure on yourself as humanly possible. You will love spending hours on these steps and being rewarded with minimal impact to your party’s success.
#5: A clean sink is a happy sink.
I got this one from my mother. I fail to institute it on a day-to-day basis, but magically adopt it when I know people are coming over. Before my guests arrive, even if I’m still prepping the food, I unload and load the dishwasher so the sink is tidy. Then I wipe the countertops and pretend my kitchen always looks that way. No, I always put things away and wash pans out as I cook. Doesn’t everybody? I round this out by quickly re-sweeping and re-mopping the very floor my guests will be trampling over any minute. Hey, at least that first guest through the door will notice the way my floors sparkle.
#4: Smelling is believing.
Before people come over, I make a mad dash around the house to swap out the wax scents in the warmers. I figure people associate a fresh smelling house with a clean house. I allow at least twenty minutes for the new wax to melt. I recommend avoiding scents that are too powerful (strong florals or cinnamons should be kept to a minimum). I try for subtle scents – a buttered toffee in the kitchen to give off that fresh-baked aroma; perhaps a vanilla-lavender in the bathrooms (no food smells in the bathroom; no one wants to think about eating while sitting on the throne … at least I don’t think they do). If you’d like to throw in some visual stimulation, you can also turn on all the fake candles and perhaps light one or two real ones. Let’s face it, we all look better by candlelight.
#3: All closets and cupboards must be organized.
This makes sense, right? I mean who hasn’t gone to someone’s house and snooped in a drawer or two? Nothing brings a smile of satisfaction to my face like knowing if and when a wayward guest opens the drawers in the bathroom, the toothpaste and other toiletries will be perfectly aligned. And imagine how impressed and relieved my guests will be that the spice rack is organized according to size with all labels facing outward and not a spec of salt or pepper spilled on the shelf. This prep takes hours, so it’s not for the faint of heart.
#2: It’s all about the bathrooms.
Ever used the bathroom at someone’s house and thought, “Wow, they didn’t care at all that I was coming.” No, just me? Whether I’m hosting a small get-together or an all-out event, the bathroom prep is important to me. Now keep in mind the house has already been cleaned a day or two prior, in anticipation of my guests, but you must realize my hubby and kiddos didn’t see the importance of using the neighbor’s facilities since that time so things could be kept fresh for the guests; so this is where I must intervene. This goes beyond the standard wiping down of the sinks and toilet seats (but yes, please do this). I also ensure the toilet paper is fully stocked, garbage cans are emptied out, air freshener is strategically placed beneath the sinks, soap dispensers are full, and, MOST IMPORTANTLY, the hand towels are clean and perfectly straightened. I’m not much of a germaphobe, but I abhor the thought of someone washing their hands at my house, only to discover the hand towel is crusty, overly damp, and/or has a strange smell. Tip: If you have someone coming over, and only have time for one thing, switch out those hand towels. Your guests will thank you for it (well, not out loud; that would be weird – but I’m sure they’re thanking you on the inside).
And … the number one rule you’ve all been waiting for …
#1: Napkin folding is key.
I have the empty bottles of starch and the iron burn on my arm to prove I’m serious about this one. I like to scour YouTube for the best napkin folding ideas. I experiment with several folds, then post them on my family’s Facebook page so the fam can weigh in. I like to tally the votes, then ignore the results and choose whatever fold strikes my fancy. I’ve done Christmas trees, pyramids, leaves, roses, and, on one overzealous occasion, even made my own napkin rings. Your friends and family will love that guilty feeling of messing up your perfect design when eating; not to mention the pleasant sensation when running that over-starched napkin across their tender lips.
That’s about it. Your guests will enjoy those fresh hand-towels and starch-scraped lips whilst they admire your organized closets and sparkly floors amidst the false aroma of baked goods. Hopefully you’ve enjoyed these useless tips. Feel free to comment with other preposterous rules I may have missed. Happy hosting!